You must recognize that by choosing to be with your significant other, you are choosing to be with all of their prior actions and behaviors. An unsaid agreement between you. Your girlfriend may not respond well to you making demands. Feeling judged by your partner is another sure sign that theyre not giving you the respect and kindness required in a relationship, says OReilly. Tell her why it is affecting you so much and how you feel. She appears to be mature enough to handle it. If your girlfriend is talking to someone you dislike or don't trust, you may be inclined to ask her to stop. Sometimes, simple things like an honest conversation are enough to solve such a problem. But understand that committing to a person and always liking a person are not the same thing. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. But if your partner is acting on insecurity alone and attempting to shame you or isolate you from others as a result, thats a deal-breaker. Does your partner joke about traumatic things that arent funny? "They are experiencing something possibly positive and beautiful and then made to feel guilty for it. Put yourself in your girlfriends shoes, 10. What you should do instead: Actually, you know, deal with the problem. It can also help to paraphrase what she's said to make sure you understand. Imagine you both going to a party and she leaves you to flirt with other guys. Space is essential for strengthening your bond in every relationship, whether a relationship or friendship. Think about if your jealousy is even related to the guy, or if its part of a bigger issue. "Breaking up evokes a lot of really strong emotions in people," Dr. Freitag explains. Displays of "loving" jealousy. Weve all let that fleeting suspicion get the better of us, leaving us with more questions than answers. But if it becomes an expectation that my life revolves around her emotional well-being at all times, then Im soon going to become very bitter and even manipulative towards her feelings and desires. Give non-verbal cues to show you're listening, such as maintaining eye contact and nodding on occasion. She is extremely social and has a huge circle of friends. If my girlfriend cannot trust me to be around other attractive women by myself, then it implies that she believes that Im either a) a liar, or b) incapable of controlling my impulses. If your partner forces you to abandon your hobbies, certain personality traits, or other important aspects of your life, thats also unacceptable. Something went wrong. A person has no reason to be passive-aggressive if they feel safe expressing any anger or insecurity within the relationship. By controlling her, you will just portray yourself as an obsessive boyfriend. When someone begins to get upset, all personal desires go out the window because it is now your responsibility to make one another feel better. As I am an introvert, I do not have too many pals nor do I like to socialise. Think with a cool head even if your emotions are running amok. She doesn't cheat at anything. 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This is emotionally manipulative behavior. 3. You might be feeling so because you feel that your partner is more talented and attractive than you. But if this is how things go at every party, then she doesnt have much respect for you and you need to put some thought into your relationship. Does your current partner get angry about your sexual history or number of past sexual partners? It's normal to have frustrations and insecurities in a relationship. Your girlfriend is now a changed person. If someone habitually cheats, then thats obviously a recurring problem. If she is the gregarious kind, accept her the way she is. By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy. Should I get mad if my girlfriend talks to other guys? Couple relationshipsthe pains and pleasures, the anxieties and comforts, the craziness and calm. A person will never feel a need to drop hints if they feel like they wont be judged or criticized for it. She told me while drunk that she likes it when I get jealous when guys approach her, and has told me she's gotten numbers, but not who from, to get a rise out of me when she hasn't. Weve all heard when someone says something wrong, but constantly correcting your partner can become annoying and belittling, matchmaking and dating expert Stef Safran previously told Bustle. If it does, that will be awesome but if it don't jus. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Gaslight is a 1944 mystery movie starring Ingrid Bergman as a newlywed. Dont jump to conclusions that your girlfriend is cheating on you and start accusing her of it. Keep your chin up, you bring a lot more to the table than you realize. Situations like this is what often leads women to dump you for the other guy. Is she generally affectionate with other friends, regardless of gender? Just because your girlfriend speaks to a guy, there is no need to get so paranoid. Learn to see these signs and see if they happen in front of you or otherwise too. It creates unnecessary drama and fighting. Trust yourself and your relationship. With every passing day, I feel insecure when she talks to a male pal or pays too much attention to them. however I am scared that some smooth talking dude might talk her into doing something. Scan this QR code to download the app now. Last Updated: April 8, 2021 What it is: Lets say youre having a crappy day and your partner isnt exactly being super sympathetic or supportive at the moment. What Causes Mommy Issues in Guys, and How Do You Overcome It? Just imagine if she never spoke to guys, the you wouldn't be her boyfriend in the first place. As said earlier, most of the jealousy and insecurity come with low self-esteem. A good litmus test: If your friends and family express concern over your partners behavior, then this likely isnt the relationship for you, says OReilly. It is normal to feel jealous at times. I (20M) am dating my (21F) girlfriend. Give her a chance to talk. One can be committed to someone and not like everything about them. Does your partner consider you a placeholder and doesnt want to appear tied down in case someone else comes along? They threaten to break up with you all the time. You need to stop being suspicious as this will lead to a strain in the relationship. Scan this QR code to download the app now. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! The inevitable distance between two people in love, the restless neediness of love. if you do, then you should tell her, but just don't expect it to lead anywhere else. Is it right for me to tell my girlfriend to stop talking to - Quora Whenever I hang out with her bunch of pals, I hate it when she talks to her male buddies. Sure, if my girlfriend gets mad at me once because shes had a shitty day and is frustrated and needs attention, thats understandable. She doesnt even care that you are also at the party. If jealousy is the main culprit, it's better to have a conversation about why you're feeling jealous and how the two of you can cope as a couple. In some cases, she might even truly love you and wish to cause you no harm, but a lack of respect will invariably cause you harm. Perhaps your partner tries to control what you do and when you do it. It might just be the UPS delivery guy whos completely lost, asking her for directions. She snaps and text many other guys and some of then she's been friends with for over 15 years and it makes me uncomfortable and nervous. My parents were experts at this one. Go out with other friends. Or why does my girlfriend talk about other guys in front of me? 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