She is unbeleivably attractive and there are a lot of guys who hit on her which is expected and doesnt bother me too much. This is a common scenario within a long-distance relationship but it is good that things didnt get out of hand and now that you are not going to be physically apart from each other, Im sure the issues will resolve themselves. Since he lives far away, i cant befriend him. I am actually in the process of writing an article on the topic of boundaries, which should give you some more ideas on how to stay informed without coming across as controlling. Or you can take pride and confidence that you are the one that gets to go home and share the bed with this woman. We ended up in the hot tubethere was 8 people casually drinking and talking. Although its impossible for me to fully know your girlfriends personality from what you have written, I imagine that she knows how to make other guys aware that she is in a relationship herself. Then she jumps on his back he they topple over onto the floor and they lay there laughing. Perhaps Diana does have a unique way of expressing herself, but learning to understand her reactions will be far more useful than having her verbalise everything anyway. for all my pervious relationships, the infamous quote the girl always say to me is oh frank, u are the nicest person i know, and im really happy to met u, but i dont think it will work, im really sorry. I love her to pieces, shes my baby and my sweetheart and I know she feels the exact same way if not more <3 I just want to know how to stop worrying and figure out how to know that this will 100% work and we'll definitely be together until we are back together next year? He is known for shady behavior in the past and trying to hook up with a girl that had just broken up with a fellow friend and person in the same fraternity. Its not much but is my way of saying thankyou : ) She had also said that she told him that She and I are getting married soon and that she was very happy with me. A intellectual and wise man will never start a fight. Ive had problems in past relations and im kinda afraid it happends again. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. But after showing her compassion and the love a true relationship should have, she has changed. You should treat him exactly as you think your girlfriend would want you to treat him. It was a casual conversation for a few minutes but then it started taking a turn for the worst. Those are the sorts of mindsets that lead to feelings of insecurity, such as the prom incident you describe. Becoming more comfortable over time is a combination of putting the interactions and possible consequences into perspective, whilst sharing more of your views and feelings with your girlfriend whenever you feel she will be empathetic and unaffected by them. I told her that she just needed to be careful, because things happen very fast, and I wouldnt want her job to be in jeopardy because she put herself in a vulnerable situation. And there was one day, she went to his apartment and hung out with him alone and then they went to dinner together(she said nothing really happened). What do I do? My gf went out with people who we know but they arent like our best friends. I need your words of advice! Most women do not like unnecessary drama. Assuming she does just want a more fun and active social life, you could actually be the one to go out and meet these new people with her. You are beautiful and I dont blame them either. Assuming that she is oblivious, how do you go about dealing with that? coolthingsnheaven Listen, Im in a similar boat but in the girls perspective, I lost a bunch of weight recently & since then started getting hit on way more to the jealousy & anger of my boyfriend. the first time she was having a smoke and a guy approached her while i wasnt there, and they talked he then asked for her number she didnt give her number but she gave her messenger address now in my eyes, this is somewhat unfaithful because 1. she shouldnt be talking to guys that obviously have the intention of picking her up, and 2. she gave out her information. sometimes, i dont feel its worth it, but my feelings for her skew my rationale. This is especially true as you hint that her father is controlling and abusive sometimes, which will have played a large part in where a meek side to her character might have come from. Im happy to hear that she said no, that she still felt in love with me, even with us being apart. Mr Mitsotakis also said Greece will help reconstruct Ukraine, with a focus on the city of Odesa that has been hit with air strikes. The organization will provide more information on relationship abuse, why it happens, warning signs, and what to do. I was completely shocked since he was doing this at the same table as the rest of the co-workers including his wife. #1. my gf is a very friendly with guys, but guys always think she flirts with them, even when I am around. They are usually things about her body and it just really annoys me. That said, consider everything thats at stake and determine if you can build a healthy relationship from here. We had seen eachother during these three months as she would travel to where I am, since she is originally from here. What To Do? At the end of the day, if the scenarios are as blatant as you predict then yes it does show disrespect towards you and Im afraid the only two options are to forgive their ignorance of the situation and try and earn their respect by displaying more leadership qualities in their presence (a whole topic on its own) or simply dont mix with them anymore. Youre right that a boyfriend can give his woman all the attention and validation she could ever want; the problem is that it is biased validation! Its the guys (that she knows form school or work) that inbox her who bother me. I guess my question is, is there a way to help myself cope with this and convince myself that I have no reason to feel upset or badly about the idea of guys hitting on her while she is at work? 1. There is a big difference between sharing personal feelings with your girlfriend, and emotionally preventing her from being her true self. When Im with my gal at a place, party, etc and I see a good looking confident guy making him self notice, kind of flirting with my gal; you know the eye-eye contact with my gal, and my gal is also looking at him,. Assuming she does want to prevent some of this mans behaviour, how you go about discussing the issue will depend on how self-assured and socially intuitive your girlfriend is. i know we just started, and still in the process of getting to know each other. That is, we can be told something from authority that we agree with in theory, but havent developed the self-belief to support it yet. A lot of the other situations you are describing revolve around being more assertive and reassuring in the relationship. randoms or mates feel the need to hit on my girl when im there or when im not there.I do believe some of them do it for a reaction of me and i no my girl tells me everytime its happened which im gratfeful for. So i hung up and immediately called her friend back to find the phone engaged, i then rang my girlfriend and her phone was also engaged, her mum rang her and she answered so I can only asume she wasnt at her friends house. But then later on realize that that reaction was not necessary. A month later, after realizing that we missed eachother and thought about eachother the entire month of being apart, we got back together. Obviously my gut instinct is to destroy the guy. Im open to the concept of counselling or whatever it will take. Your girlfriends feelings might take a bit more effort to align but now that you are together and no longer long-distance, you can constantly work on enriching your relationship. I think you know that logically she wont cheat on you and from the way youve described her feelings and your relationship, you really dont have much to worry about. That was possibly a sign for you to think of ways to make you as her boyfriend the focus of her attention and desires, passively rather than through jealousy or fear. All you need to do is concentrate on staying level-headed and being an awesome boyfriend. Id like some additional thoughts on this if you have the chance: I completely trust my girlfriend, yet I still feel funny with the way she interacts with others at times and the attention she commands (particularly with guys). Embarrassment or shame for his behavior. night of open heaven | day 87 [100 days fasting & prayer] 14th august, 2023. Then I have a habit to go through her computer, as I feel is the best way to find out what shes been upto. Instead he will focus on solving problems through the power of his words. One of the main reasons I advise against ever checking a partners private messages is that it does nothing to enrich the relationship (even if nothing incriminating is found). He confessed that he liked her alot, and that he wanted to be with her. That is why I often suggest befriending the other guys in your girlfriends life, as it builds that connection and understanding directly with them. To clarify this she is quite honest with them that she is in a relationship but they almost seem to ignore this on varying levels and try to court her on varying levels. Now she knows that this convo upset me and later that day they talked again and she didnt go over the line again but he still did. She was texting throughout the night and around 1am she was showing me something her on her phone, he texted her. You can make guided observations if you like but let your girlfriend make her own judgements and have faith in them. Feel free to e-mail me via the contact section at the top of this page if you would like me to explain anything further. I know the importance in a relationship is communication and honesty. Women look for the strongest and best option male they can get. The more someone finds another person as attractive the greater the chances they are going to make a move on them. I am to the point of being angry and telling him off Am I over reacting any feed back would be greatly appreciated on how I should handle this. Its great you put so much time into the responses to help men like us. Talk to your friend. As for the final part of your question, I cant remember where I wrote about it before but a relationship is only moving too fast if your feelings, attraction for each other, or personal desires are out of sync. The best thing you can do is to support and reassure your girlfriend whilst not letting any personal emotions or opinions affect your relationship. Usually this is coming from guys in packs whore are drunk and looking to fight so we just end up ignoring it as she doesnt want me to get into any confrontations. As a guy, we must understand that our girl is going to be hit on from time to time. It sounds like you are in a relationship with a wonderful woman. I know how those sorts of scenarios can come across when viewed a certain way but your girlfriend hasnt actually done anything wrong at this stage and neither has this other guy, so there is no use making something out of nothing as it stands. They are the dominant gender and hate disrespect. The thing to try and control is getting too inside your head. Shes a good person. ? She probably knew it was potentially damming to be honest with you about texting her ex-boyfriend, which is why she kept it secret. But the problem is she was in another 2 year relationship after me with another guy and i cant really find myself getting over it anytime soon. 1. It seemed like she was back on how she was 2 years ago. Mindsets of Overcoming Jealousy #1. Would it be controlling to ask her politely maybe not to drink as much and also go home at the end of the night? As for the guy in question, it sounds like your girlfriend has successfully diffused the situation when you talk about her putting him in his place. The main factor though is asserting yourself as the boyfriend and not letting her ex-boyfriend control group interactions to the extent you describe. Hey Sam, Remind yourself of that point as often as possible. I feel to betrayed if that is the matter and do not know what to do. It is common guy logic that raising your voice and acting tough can solve any situation. I have a few questions myself: My only problem is that on occasions that i have witnessed myself when she has been hit on in front of me, she did not in my eyes act appropriately at the time. The one thing you might have to take extra care of at this stage, especially as it is a long-distance relationship, is not becoming needy (calling far more often than she does for example). Try and think how an A-list celebrity would act if his girlfriend was accost in a similar way. Not care about her as much so I dont get hurt? I told my boyfriend about this and he wasnt phased at all because hs not one to get jealous, so it happened again and eventually i had to tell hs friend to tell him to leave me alone and since then hs left me alone. You will also never truly know what another man wants when he interacts with your girlfriend and what he is really thinking when he discovers she is unavailable. Lately I think I have been experiencing feelings of jealousy and I am just trying to process some thoughts that I was hoping to get some different perspectives on. He is the only person out of our group that I wouldnt trust further than i can throw him (and hes quite fat so it wouldnt be that far). There are ways for you to inspire a more assertive side of your girlfriends personality and find more of a compromise but ultimately, many aspects of the dynamic you have is fundamental to the relationship you share. twice, he was hiting on her (both times i was away) but she told me about it when i came back. I wouldnt mind it so much, but the fact that they are sexual in nature gets at me and makes me sad whenever I think about it. Also an Unknown number texted her and Pretty much asked if she was with me and then said text me to her but she denied knowing who it was when it was apparent that they knew her i just wish i didnt think she was doing stuff behind my back when it seems like She isIt also seems like she could careless when we get in an argument And its like if we dont talk again she would be ok. Shes the type of girl who isnt all lovey dovey and doesnt get jealous which is different from what Im use to. Other than that, I agree that she should be encouraged for being more outgoing and sociable. Reading her diary isnt automatically a bad thing, but the reasons why you did so and the manner in which you did probably wont be seen favourably by her. Although there are differences between the two scenarios you have described (one involves a friend of your girlfriend and the other involves an acquaintance), they should be treated in similar ways. and immediately stood up walked to the front of my room and said, I asked you at least 10 times if that was the end of the story and you assured me yes, now tell me what else happened in that car, she stood up and said, i will tell you but 1st i must pack my bags because Im going after this, and that notified me something big happened. My friend had too much to drink at a party and started touching my girlfriend several times. If your girlfriend has had to deal with excessive attention from men throughout her life, she has no doubt established her own methods for dealing with that attention. To be honest, the suggestion you made about going out of your way to make several female friends is a good one, although not for the reasons you mention. Today we were all tagged by a mutual friend in a facebook post that has a music video that says something about tell your gf to stop calling me and stuff. I know exactly what you mean. Please talk to me, I really like you. Its unclear if the graduate student and the guy you first mention are the same person. I love my girlfirned and i no she is the same we trust each other but its just unwanted bullshit that no relationship should have to deal with. Even if you choose to move on, this is something you probably need to look into. She has also been one of my best friends for the last 3 years so i know alot about her. Sam i am asking you for help, am i wrong to stop her from going to this party piss up with her ex and her friends? They tend to get overly-physical and it really irritates me. Once again I commend you on keeping calm in situations like the hot-tub example. Your girlfriend is still young. At first she ignore him and told him to leave. She tells me about them and i have absolute trust in her. Furthermore, they are showing their own lack of integrity and attractiveness by hitting on someone they outright KNOW is in a relationship., this is exactly what happend with me 2 days ago, we went for a drink, and we met one of my GFs friends. In my experience, rich and successful guys, unless they feel particularly close to you, will often have little problem trying to obtain a taken woman. The same goes for snide remarks about your suitability. Your girlfriends friendliness also portrays her as being a desirable girlfriend, which is obviously a good thing but does come with several caveats such as guys receiving ambiguous signals. Whenever shes sad, (even in a case where I was the one that was the one she wronged) I bring her up. We love each other very much and if anyone ever tries anything she tells me and even lets me read the conversations from this guy, and lets me read her texts. Other than that, just keep reminding yourself that she is with you now and that her ex-boyfriend is, for all intents and purposes, just another guy now! Other guys hitting on your girlfriend is an unavoidable consequence of dating an attractive woman. She felt uncomfortable and left and he tried hug her. I know trust is a big thing in relationships. HonestPainting If your girlfriend can't figure out how to shoot guys down she's not ready to be anything serious. Giving yourself some space will give both of you time to think about your actions. Yes, alcohol can often be the bane of these types of situations as it reduces our logical reflexes and increase our subconscious mind. Speak to your girlfriend about it when you are next discussing a topic related to these friends and let her decide what is inappropriate. Second is to limit how much you drink during those particular moments, at least to experience how you feel when alcohol isnt fuelling emotions. Re-centering. Not turning him down to the point that he stops his advances. With all problems we had set a side I thought that would be the end of it, I would travel up have an amazing time and everything would be back to normal. She says nothing about these messages say that the ex is still interested in my girl and I said seriouslY? My girlfriend is the love of my life, my soulmate. It seems that you know exactly how to act and what the reality of the situation is but a small, pre-programmed fear of loss is meddling with that. I hope that has helped somewhat in Jakes absence. Whether those interactions are disrespectful towards a monogamous partner or not will solely come down to the context of the situation. IF She Be On The Phone WIth Them For Hours.. My gal is great, the complete opposite of me. We have been dating for nearly 5 months (I know for some that isnt long but for me its the longest) my girlfriend is the party girl and must always have a bf type. Most issues regarding bad patches in a relationship are projections of negative inner beliefs, thoughts and fears. These do absolutely nothing positive for the relationship regardless of how she answers, so although they may seem to ease your mind at the time, in the long run they are reinforcing the trust issues and setting up further issues in the relationship. This in turn prevents other guys being perceived as a threat, instead being an inconsequential side effect of having an attractive girlfriend. Do not let emotions prompt you to make rash decisions, and watch out for the red flags before you make the decision to cohabit. From my experience, the people who openly admit their unfaithfulness are the ones who typically have the most sincere regret for their actions but that doesnt excuse what has actually happened. I confronted her and believe me it was so pleasant for either of us. Ending the relationship is in your best interest if your girlfriend assaults you again. Support your girlfriend if she is ever feeling uncomfortable and show her through actions how much better her relationship with you is. Here we will be looking at the reason why men respond more sexually when they see women. So to answer your question, I would say your girlfriend has the right attitude in just laughing it off and forgetting about it. I didnt think people like this existed. You say that you get a lot of attention from women yourself, which means you probably have a better idea than most men about how a woman feels when men interact with her. Ultimately, if the relationship is something that you see as long-lasting, you want it to be something you can be honest about and proud of. So she used that money for her abortion, but when she went there, they asked her to come again and bring another amount. The only reason a woman would say screw the guy Im with is if she wasnt completely fulfilled and happy with that guy! Take care and feel free to e-mail me if you want to talk about any specific points. There are obviously a lot of behavioural changes that occur when excessive alcohol is consumed but this doesnt include discarding deep-set moral beliefs. I do provide a priority e-mail service for a small fee but I reply to every e-mail I receive as soon as I can either way. Instead, you should talk to her and let her know that it is bad.
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