I dont love her anymore but i do want to be responsible. Why would a woman keep a pregnancy a man considers a mistake? As usual, he exuded a cold and distant aura, his sharp and ruthless gaze focused straight ahead. They simply dont like being forced to take responsibility because they want the responsibility to come to them naturally with time. How to Get Your Ex Wife Back - Husband Help Haven He kept telling me how she was mentally abusive to him and super codependent and he was miserable and felt trapped, he was just waiting out the lease on their apartment. I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! And yes he made me believe it was a mistake and no I dont believe him and think he knew what he was doing and yes I live in fucked up what the white man says goes, Southern USA. I'm pregnant, and my ex has ran back to his ex wife | Mumsnet And you can do that by getting to know her again and learning why she wants you back. We had 2 kids together which I ended up raising for 8 years on my own. My boyfriend got another girl pregnant while we were together, My boyfriend got someone else pregnant while we were separated, My ex had a baby with someone else and wants me back, We broke up and he got another girl pregnant, When your ex has a baby with someone else, When your ex has a baby with someone else and wants you back. She could be feeling claustrophobic in life. All rights reserved. I had merely two words to confess, but I swallowed the second word that was on the tip of my tongue the moment his phone abruptly rang. Before the podcast started reading reddit stories, the hosts would choose a topic and research it using Wikipedia. Ask her what her plans are and listen intently. Tip #6. Cookie Notice I have no idea what the fallout has been, I'm keeping my account deactivated for a good few weeks and I want nothing further to do with this. Now, Im like 10000 percent sure this is hormones fucking me up, and the fact I never gave myself time to truly heal and grieve. I just bottled shit up. Its abhorrent. He had always treated me like this anyway. Thats what you need to figure out. Should I tell her? Not sure how you could win her back at this point. [UPDATE] My ex wants me back, should I tell his pregnant girlfriend? No offense, but she's pushing you away pretty strongly..do you think she has done something she doesn't want to own up to so she is putting all the blame on you? Is it because shes desperate for the things you can provide for her and the child or is it because she feels inspired by you and wants you back. Reddit, Inc. 2023. Is it possible your efforts come off as desperate, and are merely pushing her away? Reddit, Inc. 2023. My ex left the picture for about 3-4 years after we got divorced. They think theyre strong because they carried a baby for 9 months and learned how to be responsible. Clean up your act. Wowyou are in a bind aren't you. I dont mention that I've seen they're still together or any of that stuff, I just reply saying it was good to see him but I've moved on. Why is respect so key? Ill be over in a while. All rights reserved. However it did not come through. This poor guy is for a world of hurt, but based on your post I think some personal introspection about your own issues you have with men might be helpful for you. I cant sit here and say Im regretting having a child with someone else. Having standards and taking responsibility are two different things. Ashton Fuller was the epitome of wealth and good looks. Another thing worth pointing out is that lots of guys find an ex whos given birth visually unappealing. I said, invite her out, treat her like a lady and leave the rest to her, she will come around, do not force it. Seventy-eight percentof children have reported more than one traumatic experience before the age of 5. If thats something you arent or arent willing to become, the child is better off with just a mom. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Not where youll be or where you want to be, but where you are right now. Focus on being the best you can be. Funny, comforting ideas on what happens after we die. My ex wants me back, do I tell his pregnant girlfriend? But no, it doesn't wear off as soon as baby is born. You guys could probably benefit from professional help, that way you can communicate with a neutral party and see what you really want. They either arent ready for a baby and the commitment that comes with it or they just dont like the idea of looking after a baby that isnt theirs. I recently got divorced due to her wanting to get back with her ex so i left and asked for a divorce. Since we've been apart we've only had one conversation and she thinks she's gonna be on her own with this kid. before we got divorced we were seperated for about 5 months or so , in this time i met someone that i think is great and care about but this person is far away for now.we made all sorts of plans and i would still want . He starts going on about how seeing me brought back all the memories and reminded him of how happy we were. Really? I messed up and deeply regret it now i dont know whats going to happen. Should I tell Ashton about this? My original post didn't get many replies but I want to just thank those who did reply as it really gave me some things to think about and some great ideas of how to approach the situation, so thank you all! Whatever happens, you'll be able to make the best of it. I want to be a good man and stand by them both but I fear at the worst the baby might not be mine and this is a reflection of how to deal with the guilt. But I'm ready now. This is a very personal question and a very sensitive subject, so I cant directly tell you whether you should be with your ex and take on the responsibility of fostering your exs child. He told me that she was very aware he was leaving her and she didn't care about who he was seeing or anything like that, and if I'm being honest I was so infatuated with this man I felt no reason to question it, I just believed him. My only advice is to not hurt anyone in the process. We would argue over really petty things such as cleaning the house or she had this obsession which she thought I was talking to other women. It only happened once! Also don't suggest therapy, she said to not contact her anymore, respect her wishes. Make a new friend or start hanging out with your old buddies. He explained to me that they were pretty much broken up and it was more of a roommates situation until their lease ran out then he was going to leave her properly and get out. It is typical for us humans, when a strategy doesnt work, instead of changing strategies, we just dig in and do it more. This is especially true for guys who havent been with those women during their pregnancy because such guys fail to develop sympathy and understanding for pregnant women. Certainly not a man with any standards. So I dont understand how you can go from wanting a baby and living your partner to completely hating them and getting your house in the space of 6 weeks, If you werent patient before cslling her names she may have hormonally speaking " tested you" I know I did this to my husband and I was upset with him a fee times. I suppose the real problem isnt that guys cant have their own child. Or the fact she is mentally ill and pregnant has sent her temporarily insane. Maybe..if your words and gifts stop flooding her view, then she might see you more clearly and notice how youve really changed. Youll feel good and heal with time. But otherwise we have been getting along great and planning our future. Love means respecting their wishes and giving them space, not controlling and crowding them. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. Multiple deaths in the family amplified my stress. And she sent me a very long message thru text and said she don't think I'm mature enough to handle a kid. When two people gaze into each others eyes for a few minutes, they can develop deeper trust and greater intimacy and mutual attraction. You deserve to be with someone who doesnt ignore you and who appreciates you and your efforts. But because you have a daughter together, you will continue to see her. And mature guys like that. As someone who's had exes refuse to move on, the more you try to get her back the more of a milquetoast you look like, it's absolutely repulsive. She didnt want any part of that nor get a divorce. Definitely hormones bc I feel the same way with this child. Reconnect from a position of strength. How to Get an Ex Back: 5 Essential Steps | Psychology Today I'm not an idiot and I'm sick of him thinking he can continue to get away with blatant lies so I sent him screenshots of the announcement from her public Facebook posts with him tagged. Side note: I also realise I really should have told her after they renewed the lease on their apartment but given what he was saying about her mental state and threatening to hurt herself I didn't want to exacerbate anything, I just wanted to move on. This does sound like a painful situation. What if you shifted your focus from winning her back to getting your life back? Not the other way around. Its a lot to process, the legal stuff, the breakup, this stranger bitch that has a name I dare not say aloud due to memories from childhood abuse. Just leave her be when she gets like that. I have taken her to every scan so far and I have taken to a gender scan which we found out we are having a girl (yay x) on the same day we agreed to get back together and take it slow, I then took her to my mums and they made friends again and we sorted everything out. The baby was planned we had the ovulation sticks and when I would do the business so to speak she would lay in her back with her legs in the air. My ex wants me back but she is pregnant : r/wantexback - Reddit Quora - A place to share knowledge and better understand the world Its too easy to agree with your assessment and advise, Sure, move on! Ludwick told me to send his greetings to you. I had intended to sign the contract alone at the hospital today, but I ran into Ashton on my way here. The last 7/8 weeks have been a nightmare she seems to go on and on about stuff that happened on the day she moved out. Say that empathetically. They appreciate a woman who is responsible because such a woman will encourage them to be the best versions of themselves. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. If she says she intends to bring the child to your house, tell her that youre already taking care of 2 kids and that they already occupy most of your time. 08/04/2020 09:37, @healthyandhappy :( he didnt leave her for me though, they had been separated for a year x. What if you found the courage to stop trying to control her or the situation? But once again do not know the whole situation fully so this is just my outsiders perspective, I would also keep the texts she sends you and the ones you send her just incase this takes a turn for the worse and she tries to keep you from seeing your baby you will be able to pull it up in court. Communication is everything. This was not the first time that he had kicked me out of his car. Hell probably think that Im shamelessly using this child to blackmail him. For more information, please see our could just be hormones or maybe shes just crazy and youre just seeing this right now lol. That will hurt her more than you can imagine and make it difficult for her to trust and date men. I kicked my now husband out around the same time with my last baby. Maybe.if you focus on living your life, you can cement the changes you want to make in yourself, your attitudes, and your actions. In this post, well talk about the things you should be aware of when your ex has a baby and wants you back. I had the same situation,my ex betrayed me,she moved out,,then after a while she decided she wants to move back,she promised to fix her stupid desire to get involved with other guys,,she was ok for 2 years then again she got into another affair,,once a cheater always a cheater is a fact that I ignored,,the second time the guy was married,so my ex wrecked a family without blinking.cheaters are . Here are four ideas, some questions to ask yourself, and related ways of thinking that can help you reclaim your life, your dignity, and your integrity, which can reduce your pain and improve your . I told her give me a chance and at least let me be a part of this. Give it some thought and figure out if your goals and responsibilities align with your exs and if youre even emotionally and financially ready for the biggest commitment of your life. And yes abortion was banned 2 weeks after he told me and now shes forced to keep it. Have you hurt her before (as in cheated, talked to other girls, etc) in the past? Reddit, Inc. 2023. Join waitlist for our course where we will teach yo. I want my pregnant ex wife and family back. Im really starting to hate this woman as the last thing she said was that she doesnt want me in the birth certificate. Dont want to take care of another mans child. I calmly advised her to read everything then she could make her own choices. Ashton already had Rebecca in his heart, so my existence was redundant. and you calling her names even after her pushing you couldve been to see how long it would take. According to one survey, men take an average of 88 days to tell a partner"I love you," compared to a woman's 134. These are very common questions going through a guy's mind when he finds out his ex had a baby with someone else and now wants him back. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. How can I win my pregnant ex girlfriend back? - Relationships | Forums I really dont think she understand how hard its going to be with me not around. Recently, Ive been really in my head over my recent ex. They simply come to the conclusion that a baby from another man is a hassle and that it will take too much of their time. 5. Both of us had our problems. *long post warning*Ladies I am breathing, but just dont know what to do or think / feel etc.. And should I take care of someone elses baby? Experiencing multiple losses in a short time is extremely challenging, so its natural and normal to feel overwhelmed. Standing up for yourself is good. expect them to tend to the needs of the family (force them to grow up faster), take away their freedom (the time they could spend on themselves and their friends), and quite frankly, use them emotionally, physically, or financially. Are you absolutely sure your pregnancy is your lovers? Basically you just want to start improving your life. Only contact her about your daughter. But if you can practice focusing on (1) being the best you can be, (2) living your life with integrity, and (3) respecting her, then setting her free will come more easily. She said she's done waiting for me to grow up. I wish you the best. Maybeif you stop trying to impress her and simply be at ease with your new self and comfortable in your own skin, then she can notice your integrity and how you really walk the talk. What's the Hierarchy in Multiple-Partner Relationships? So after the sex I sent her a daft snapchatas she was onher phone next to me. ago She sent me a message accusing me of trying to ruin her relationship and start an affair with her "best friend and soulmate". I have no idea how much of this woman's mental state he was being honest about or if she really was mentally abusing him but I know from mutual friends that she would probably react very badly (and probably violently) if she knew what he had done. I gave her joint custody of the kids 2 years ago. So then last week he messages me, he tells me he's not stopped thinking about me since he saw me, letting me go was the biggest mistake of his life, and he wants me back. If you are completely sure the fetus is your lovers, you have several diffic. See also: Getting Pr. I simply remained silent. The Pros and Cons of Reconnecting With an Ex | Psychology Today By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I ended up sending him a message letting him know that I knew they had never broken up as he said they had, I told him that I knew she was pregnant and I wasn't afraid to tell her what he was doing. Ignoring them, I slid into the front passenger seat. I did ask for her back at first as I couldnt understand where it came from as I was having dinner at her parents the night before. But she just said too much had happened and wants to remain friends. Obeying him and carrying out his orders seemed to be the only two things that I knew how to do. Im not trying to scare you, but the three most common reasons why guys dont accept another womans child is that they: Such guys still have many things they want to do for themselves and a lot of maturing to do before theyre ready for a child. And she sent me a very long message thru text and said she don't think I'm mature enough to handle a kid. Telling My PREGNANT Wife "I Don't Want A Baby With You - YouTube Take her somewhere that you both have not been before, this will help to create an ambiance, then you lay it on think, open doors for her, pull out the chair for her, give her the red carpet treatment and let her know that you are prepared to love her the way a man should love a woman, putting her first in all things, that you are willing to protect her with your life. I was stunned to see these words on the pregnancy ultrasound result. If they are to have a baby in the future, they would much rather have a baby that comes from them. Eventually, she stopped responding to my messages and after 1 week of no communication I blocked her because I felt she was going to break up with me and hearing her break up with wouldve destroyed me emotionally. I know you care for her deeply. If your ex had a baby with someone else and wants you back, you probably have a lot of doubts about your ex. Completely stop bringing up getting back together. I had wanted to do this is a way that would cause her as little stress as possible what with her being pregnant, but either way what's done is done and she knows everything now. I posted a few weeks ago about how my manipulative, gaslighting, waste of oxygen ex [34M] was trying to get me [29F] back even though his girlfriend [27F] is currently pregnant. r/relationship_advice 10 mo. Sorry. But what a guy usually doesnt take into consideration that a lot has happened while he was gone.. The enormous house was empty, resembling a haunted house. Deserting my pregnant ex girlfriend and daughter is not something I would even consider. She has been on my phone when I was in the shower and found nothing. However she got back home and within the hour she decided she didnt want it anymore and that was that. Of course you get defensive. My husband and I tried to get pregnant with our first (currently 7 mos pregnant with our second) for over a year and I had several miscsriagges. Yes! I nodded as I passed the contract signed with the hospital to him, uttering, Dr. There are moments when "just being honest" can undermine your connection. Its really a confusing feeling. Two words: evolutionary biology. I just wanted to give you all an update of what happened next. This was due to peer pressure and the like, and now I understand what Ive done and my eyes are open. If she still loves you, this will make her realize she's missing out and she'll initiate a reconciliation. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. He also tells me he still believes we are soulmates. We have a daughter and planned to marry. Does my ex want me back because she's out of options and needs me to take care of her and the baby? Our contact has become less frequent and the texts have been becoming nastier and nastier till she just tells me not to contact her anymore. She may have matured at an incredibly fast rate and may not necessarily want his ex back just because shes desperate for help. I instantly regret it when he does. She talks to me like filth then when I react somehow Im the bloody bad guy. I was supposed to be the one. Date: March 21, 2022 I [29F] started seeing a guy [34M] early 2019, everything was going well and we were seeing each other fairly regularly until about 10 months in when he confessed he "technically" had a girlfriend [27F] who he had been living with for a few years. Get that nasty secret off your chest or simply use this as a place to vent. Weve already established that shes matured because of her life-changing experience, but has her behavior improved as well? This is just an assumption, but guys who are okay with dating single moms are probably over the age of 30 and have learned a thing or two about relationships and priorities. my ex wife says if i dont want to be with her then she will just disappear and not let me see the kid. Youll be in charge of the case. Ashton had always been a man of few words. Of course, this is just a generalization, but this comprehension seems to be the reason why young single moms have a difficult time dating guys. She could look at you and this pregnancy and see forever and that could make her act out. How Do I Win Back My Pregnant Ex Girlfriend | Relationship Talk
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